Personal Project | October 2022

Phoenix I

Phoenix is a personal project that tells the story of female oppression and resilience through my own perspective and life experience.

Bitch. Whore. Prudish. Frigid. Naive. Dumb. Witch. Fragile. Weak. Always too much but never enough.

Being a woman on a man’s world means living every single day under the public scrutiny, having a body that belongs to everyone but oneself, born with a thousand standards assigned, awaiting to be met.

Since I can remember there is this rage inside me that I could never understand. I was unable to find out where it all came from, convinced that there was something wrong with me. Turns out that it all comes from being a woman in a man’s world. Oppressed, constantly questioned, never enough but always too much.

This constant dichotomy enrages me. There are days where the pain of living in a world that kills woman just because they were born with a vagina instead of a penis, almost suffocates me.

I found myself stuck in a creative block, consumed by all these thoughts and feelings. Drowning in anxiety and panic attacks. A million thoughts on my mind but not enough words to express them. And then it hit me: what if I can express myself through my art? And that’s what happened.

Phoenix follows a narrative that is divided in 4 distinct stages:

01. Inside Out

02. Rebirth

03. Rise From The Ashes

04. Underworld

I hope you enjoy this personal and special project. Grab yourself a cup of tea and let’s dive in.

Note: I am aware that oppression is not exclusive to females but as I am a woman this specific project was thought and directed with a narrative that tells a story of female oppression specifically. Much love ♡

Phoenix tells a story about oppression and resilience

Inside Out

On this first stage the artist explores feelings such as deep sorrow, isolation, fragmentation of oneself and self-doubt. There’s a sensation of grief, like she is so completely shattered she can’t even recognize her own reflection. In fact, it is painful to stare at it. Who is she if she's never enough to no one? What’s her role in this world after all? The subject is living in the limbo, constantly tearing apart between right or wrong, between what’s expected from her and her own truth, knowing she can never win.

There’s an open wound that seems to never heal.

Rebirth

At this stage, the subject gets tired of feeling trapped, suffocated by society’s standards. There’s simply no more tears left to cry and even though she’s still fragile, tired and fragmented, there’s also this rage coming to the surface. All the sorrow is now transitioning into feelings of injustice and anger. There’s this need to scream and break free from all those stereotypes that have been imprisoning her entire life.

It’s time to pick up the pieces and rebirth as a whole human being.

Rise From The Ashes

Like every newborn, this new woman needs to learn how to walk again. This time, confidently, secure of her own worth, free. After so much time suffocated in a reality that was built to trap her, she needs to find out who she really is. If she shuts down other’s opinions, what truths prevails?

This is the road to self-discovering.

Underworld

The Phoenix has now reborn from the ashes and is ready to fly away. Owning her own strength. Being unappologetically herself. Taking up the space that was stolen from her. Making herself being heard. Reigning her own Kingdom, under her own rules. Freeing herself from any attributed stereotypes that do not serve her. Conquering the life she was destined to live but that society has tried to take from her.

This Woman is now awake. She can now see it all clearly. She is everything and nothing at all. She is whole.

Phoenix

Conclusion

Phoenix reminds us that even the darkest days of our life will eventually lead us to an inner revolution. This story is not about a Woman, it’s about all Women. It is the artist’s story but it is also your’s, your mother’s, your daughter’s, your grandmother’s, your neighbor’s and throughout our lives, chances are, we will all go through the Phoenix stages more than once but one thing is clear: every time we will rise from the ashes stronger than before.

I would like to thank to my friend Lumi who accepted to model for me in this personal project, making it possible for me to express my emotions and thoughts through her. I also want to thank my boyfriend Fernando for always supporting me in the pursuit of my goals and for being the best photography assistant I could ever have. ♡