As seen previously, eloping can mean different things for different people. However, one thing that it definitely means is this: eloping is a small, intimate, meaningful and intentional ceremony where the entire focus goes solely to the couple who’s getting married. The day is about them, their desires, their wishes, their own rules, and not about other people’s expectations or requirements.

A traditional wedding, on the other hand, tends to be more about the guests and not about the couple per se. There’s a huge outside interference that can translate in a lot of different circumstances such as: higher stress levels, inviting people that you barely know just because your parents want you to, otherwise “will look bad”, feeling pressure to include certain services that might not even make sense for you as a couple, etc.

Therefore, we can say that the main difference between both is the fact that, while elopements’s main focus is the couple, traditional wedding’s focus is divided between different areas, such as:

The couple (during the ceremony itself);
Protocol (traditions);
Activities (planned to entertain the guests);
Guests (the obligation of entertaining and being present for each and every guest throughout the entire day).

And while the main focus - getting married with your soulmate - is the same on both, the experience as a whole is completely different between an elopement and a traditional wedding. The intention putted on both is completely different.

I’ve been in the traditional wedding industry with my photo booth entertainment service since 2016 and let me tell you this: I’ve seen everything that is there to be seen regarding a traditional wedding and you know what I’ve noticed throughout all these years? That the couple rarely enjoys their day!

The truth is: there is just too much to be worried about, leaving almost no time nor energy to really enjoy everything that is happening.

Please note that I’m not saying traditional weddings are bad, they are not and many people prefer them! But if we want to compare elopements with traditional weddings than we must address the main factors that differentiate them which is all the planning, stress and guests involved in both.

Ultimately the day you decide to commit yourselves to each other should be a reflection of you, your love, your personalities and relationship.

And while elopements have been gaining space within the wedding industry, lots of couples still feel pressured to have a traditional wedding, even though is not something that really speaks to their souls and that’s exactly why I’m here, explaining the differences between eloping and having a traditional wedding, so you can consciously choose which kind of celebration fits you best.

Let’s go through the major differences between Elopements and Traditional Weddings shall we?

1. Guests

Even if you choose to elope you can still have guests! The point is to choose fewer people to share this special day of yours with you, allowing you to choose only the very important people who you really feel safe, happy and confident with. For some couples this will translate as a just me ceremony, for others it’ll be a ceremony in the presence of their parents or closest friends, while others will choose to gather 15-20 of their favorite people together.

There’s no right or wrong when it comes to elopement guests. The main point is to be intentional.

While on traditional weddings the number of guests can go a bit crazy sometimes, including lot’s of people such as cousins you haven’t seen or talked to for decades, work colleagues, acquaintances, elopements allow you to be more selective, running away from the feeling of obligation to invite people who are not important or even an active part of your story as a couple.

2. Freedom

Eloping gifts the couple the opportunity to start their life as a married couple the exact way they - really - want to, without the need to act according with what other people expect them to.

This gives the couple a pure feeling of freedom, allowing them to be completely and unapolegetically themselves, needing to worry only about being truly present in the moment, enjoying each and every second of their special day, without any kind of “to-do” list on the back of their minds.

This is specially beneficial for introverts but not only them. This is for anyone who really wants a tailor made day for them and to celebrate their love as it should: under their own rules.

3. Planning

Not too long ago, a wedding would be a small ceremony followed by a lunch/dinner in a modest restaurant or even at the family’s house. At least that’s what a traditional wedding looked like for my grandparents, 50+ years ago. But not anymore!

Year after year there are even more stuff to consider, to plan, to include. It’s like weddings have this formula, this never ending “to do list” that only grows every year.

This gives the couple a false feeling that they have a lot of choices to make when in reality there are not many choices to do as pretty much everything is chosen for you based on the standards, the “to dos”, the checklist of traditions and obligations that a traditional wedding need to comply with.

Oh the other hand, elopements free you from all this as they don’t have any rules besides the ones you dictate yourself. It’s like having a completely blank canvas and total freedom to add to it whatever you want, without anything weighing you down or telling you that your ideas don’t fit a previously stipulated standard.

4. Let’s reduce stress!

This point will, obviously, depend on a lot of factors: your personality, the professionals you book to help you out with everything and how much you trust them to do so. Nerves will always be a part of the day as you’ll probably feel super excited and anxious to live your day to the fullest, regardless of the type of ceremony you choose to have.

That being said, it’s pretty much certain that eloping will come with less stress than any traditional wedding for a few simple reasons:

Less guests (or even none at all) - this means you won’t need to worry about coordinating 200+ people, find transportation, accommodation, waiting ‘till the last minute for them to RSVP, coordinate several food allergies or intolerance, find out which thank you gifts to offer, how to entertain all those people throughout the entire day, spend 5+ hours taking traditional photos with each family member… oh well, you get the point!;
Family drama - not everyone has a great relationship with their families. Maybe you do but still wish to have a day focused only on you and your better half. Or maybe you don’t and family is a trigger for your insecurities, bad memories and don’t allow you to feel safe at all. Sometimes it’s not even you who have an issue with your family, sometimes the issue is between family members themselves which you know will probably result in some unnecessary family drama;

In the end is not about letting anyone out but rather about focusing on what really matters in any wedding: you, your relationship, your vows and connection, living this important day intentionally.

4. Let’s talk values

When I’m referring to values I’m specifically speaking about 2 types:

Money: which is the budget spent;
Moral and ethical values: which is the core values that leads someone to do something

Regarding the first one (money speaking), a traditional wedding can easily cost 30.000€+ (thirty thousand euros or more) on average. Catering, beverages, venue, photo booth, DJ, there are so many things to consider, to book, to coordinate, to pay for.

Elopements also require a financial investment, of course. But as they are more intentional and smaller, chances are they won’t require that much money.

Now let’s link the money spent on a traditional wedding and acknowledge that that is spent in order to throw a big party… for your friends and family, not particularly for yourself. So, once again, that’s the biggest difference between a traditional wedding and an elopement: the intention.

It’s totally fine whichever you choose: to elope or to have a traditional wedding. One is no better than the other, they are just different and for that same reason they serve different purposes and fit different couples. All you have to do is to figure out which one speaks to your soul, which one fits your goals and dreams better and just go with that!

Hope this article was helpful! See you in the next one :)

Love,

Patrícia